T R A U M A:   Feels like a horror movie we can’t seem to wake up from. The memories, the pictures, the questions, the never ending battlefield happening in our minds, the closer we move toward our future. As the smile seeps between our cheeks, we take one small step. Finally, a place where we can breathe again. A happy place, a temporary place of fulfillment. That man, woman, or substance we felt came to rescue us, but then...the silence begins.

By silence, I mean absence.  The moment we open our newborn eyes, is when the journey begins. So many mothers and fathers who don’t understand their role, due to lack of resources, guidance, and application. Our minds roll like a video recorder. Catching pictures and glimpses of our past, reminding us of those images, the minute we find our smile. This is an attack,which leads us into defense mode to make us feel more secure.

The more we see and encounter, without seeking healing, the more the scars seep deep into our soul. Although my memory didn’t stick until the age of three, that’s where my scars were  birthed.

What scars have been birthed in the pit of your stomach, or in the back of your mind from trauma, that cause you to relive your experiences the moment you are triggered?

Where does this pain come from?  The pain has been rooted deep into our souls. The images my mind took pictures of. The audio my mind pressed play on, that I couldn’t release. Left the pain lying on my shoulder. Hurtful words shot like a trigger delivering from their mouth to my heart. Finally,  I found a “Temporary Happy Place.” A 12 year relationship. Such a place of rest. My future is being built here. So I thought...until everything shattered. The cycle of the triggers... Pain...Tears...Neglect...

Acceptance is what every child desires in their lifetime. The older we are, the more complex life seems to be. Actions cut deep. Words are harsh, leaving us lonely, shattered, and broken.

The journey is long, but you must keep walking. There are two paths trauma can lead us through. The first path Trauma can lead to is Depression. It will break you down if you allow it to. The second path is Freedom. It will build your future if you choose to heal. I encourage you, don’t doubt yourself, allow yourself to feel, and go after whatever it is that you desire to do. Ask yourself, who am I?

Trauma chose you for a reason, and that reason is to leave your legacy behind you because someone needs your story. Always remember,

 “The Journey Is Long But You Must Keep Walking.”

SINCERELY,

B N O E L